LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
