Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
