i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize