Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Where did you get a picture of my penis
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
