This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize