so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
