It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
