Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My bed smells like the plague
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
