dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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