Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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