You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
