she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
