She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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