you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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