it's too hot outside to masturbate.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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