I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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