I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
