it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize