the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We just shotgunned beers for America
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
