I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
