you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
