when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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