Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
