Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
