he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
