Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
