Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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