what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
