Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
