Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
where are my eyebrows?
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