please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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