oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
