I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize