Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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