I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
