We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
