we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
