And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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