walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
