God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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