Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
