white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if i died would you start the facebook group?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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