Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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