If i come over, it means nothing
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Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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