I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
