He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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