You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
