We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
