Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
