I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
