I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
