There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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