I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize