dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
