I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
