meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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