The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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