And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
