I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
