i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
