2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
