I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
