Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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