just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
