OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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