Since when is my name a synonym for head?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
