If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
